Day 21: What happens when you pass on a miasm for 80 odd generations and other thoughts

Biking too and from my part-time job at the restaurant downtown tonight I was struck by just how much easier it has gotten to bike long distances (with hills even). The summer has been a good one for me – steady biking, building strength. Not just emotional strength, physical ability.

There’s something about that challenge of coming up Summit hill, near the Saint Paul Cathedral that clears my mind. The pure physicality of it. The mental process of pumping the pedals on the bike and foot by foot making it further up the hills.

Moving so often has also lent itself to a kind of mental strength-building. Each location and the time I spent there having its own particular energy associated with it.

The east St Paul house with its strange noises and quirky rooms. The kitchen that had chintzy cabinets and where when cooking, the whole house would fill with smoke.

The Grand Avenue student pad where young people studied and frolicked with their boyfriends. Grew veggies on the windowsill and cooked much healthier meals that I can. Their exuberance and innocence reminding me of what it was like to start college so many years ago. This juxtaposed with the austere and opulent old homes of Summit and Grand.

Now I move again. This segment an even more nomadic style – camping almost. Sharing the homes of people who have offered me space for shorter periods. My belongings will be stored. Who knows how that experience will inform my soul.

Each move christened me anew. Challenged my senses. Supported my growth and development as I did healing work on this trauma that has affected so many areas of my life

That silent and unknown set of beliefs which restricted my expression. In my last session, the practitioner found something called a miasm, which is an unresolved distortion created by disease which occurred in an ancestor that was not cleared before their death. It is then transferred through generations and is a point of limited creation. I had one from 126 AD!

Today I looked up 126AD, just for fun and apparently in Rome Hadrian was building The Pantheon – an engineering marvel of his time and beyond. Of course, I don’t know where my erstwhile ancestor lived, nevertheless they gave a gift that kept on giving (and not in a good way) until it was cleared Monday.

It related to a limited belief of “lack of love.” Which if you think about it would affect many areas of one’s life because the world can only reflect that which you believe. And if you believe there is no love, then no one can gift you anything. They might take, they might pillage, they could create debt with you, but they most certainly could not gift you without exacting a cost.

I am sure it is more complex than that, even, Still, it is an interesting thing to ponder. We are only in the infancy of understanding how energy like this is passed on, and what challenges it poses to the person now carrying it.

Moreover, just knowing about it is not enough. People are attached to their illnesses and afflictions. Changing that takes courage and conviction and a willingness to give up that which you believe to be true about yourself. What gets you attention, albeit negative. What fosters your internal martyr, perhaps.

And it seems if my ancestors kept passing the buck when given the opportunity to work on that issue, most folks simply won’t bother to go there. Pretending, perhaps they had no choice.

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