Day 15.5: Curling Community as the Glue that Binds Me to Something Greater

I didn’t write last night I did however, volunteer at the Saint Paul Curling club.

In last night's project, we unfurled long sheets of plastic and stapled them to the walkways or over the seat, so the flooding of the ice floor (seen in this photo with ice) can start in a few weeks. Our club is not year-round, we take a break to work on club projects and repairs.

Season preparation begins

Yes, the curling club prepareth for a new season of curling!

There are plenty of projects to be completed – new lighting in the back stairs, new TV installations and the office is getting repainted.

I appreciate the curling fam so much that contributing in this small, and yet meaningful way helps everything feel “greater.”

Plus, it is never a bad thing to connect with people you think of as family and josh about the latest goings on.

We lost a few members back-to-back over the course of the summer, a more somber reflection. A few of us on Tuesday night work crew spoke about our friend Mike Staffaroni. His teammates reformed and added a fourth player. A palpable sadness lingered when his name was mentioned.

Our long-time kitchen manager is in hospice care with advanced cancer. He continues to take visitors and when things are going better on a given day, chatting with them as though nothing has changed.

Ever changing landscapes

Change is inevitable, and over the years good friends have come and gone from the curling club. Some through life altering or ending circumstances, others due to divorce and some because they chose to head to other states and places for work. Nevertheless, each year, a certain consistency is self-evident and steady. Some jokes get recycled, the furniture occasionally wobbles, and the ice is never the way we’d think is “perfect.”

Curling for me is a life-changing sport. Maybe I wish I’d grown up here, like so many of the legacy families – in which curling was introduced first as a baby in a basket as Mom and Dad curled Friday Mixed, later joining juniors on Saturday mornings and progressing to Junior Nationals or the Olympics. Still, curling came to me just when I needed it. A type of divine intervention to the journey I undertook moving to Minnesota.

Early days

I remember back to those first few years, learning balance and falling consistently. Then there was the process of painstakingly obtaining equipment – a broom, a slider, later replaced by official curling shoes and of course all the clothing styles and types. What would be required to stay as warm as possible for two straight hours on the ice?

Trying on teams, skips and nights of the week. Adding and subtracting the number of nights I curled. Subbing in on teams across the map so that I built up a knowledge of differing styles of play. Improving each season as I progressed from shaky and uncontrolled deliveries to focus, and often, making the shots that were called.

Physically and emotionally, there is something about curling that tests our limits as humans in the safe space of comradery, family and etiquette.

Clarity and form

Many times, over the years, being at the curling club throwing rocks, as the 42-pound granite play pieces are called, helped me to forget for a moment the troubles or concerns of the day, for just long enough sometimes that solutions often presented themselves.

On other occasions, members of the club were there for moves or rides or simply as friends. My entire kitchen collection (almost) was established through a donation of one of the curling members who’d recently gotten married and had extra items.

More recently, I started a bonspiel team called “Team D’Bed Rocks.” I am having fun building the team roster and playing with our bonspiel aliases which all have some sexual innuendo. I love the interaction and questions that come about. Hopefully, this season I get a logo and banner made as well as name badges.

Throughout the years I have been tested by this family, laughed, cried and enjoyed countless shared experiences which made me a better, more richly nuanced human.

I can’t imagine having survived eight years and seasons without them. Even the two seasons I only played half-time due to school requirements when I finished my MBA were key to my sanity.

Community is so vital to feeling connected to the great thing we call life. Holding us firm when life gets shaky, providing consistency and resolve. And when things are amazingly good – like that time I won a championship game with Team Fenner (see the blog here) -- the pats on the pack are worth their weight in gold.

#2018 #Curling #olympics #competition #mind #mindset #selfhelp #energy #energyclearing #connectiontoself #betterchoices #innerwork #wellness #health #soul #bestself #networking #learning #process #jobsearching #selfempowerment #Authenticity

Internal, External, Social and Change of the Self

My path has been internal since early May – at least as far as blogging on my personal site goes. My work with Three-Dimensional (T3) Therapy practitioner, Peg Sutherland, continued 2-3 times, per month. Processing and shifting, was a whole other matter. As layers of my ancestral/family karma broke down, I really couldn’t do much more than focus on myself.

I felt like I was in a stormy sea, my boat about to capsize. Perhaps, a few times it did and I held on to the side, hoping I’d survive somehow. Fighting with family members became more intense as dysfunctional energetic circuits, and past beliefs were cleared through the timelines and in my personal field.

How it appeared IRL (in real life) was often barely explainable so I just stopped explaining or justifying -- to myself, to others, to social media. Other times, I let various sub-personalities bob to the surface, as their energies upgraded, their voice needed to come out or they felt they needed to be heard. Often, I was a witness to my own soul – sort of like a parent watching a teenager learn to drive for the first time.

Meanwhile in “everyday reality” – I was working, dealing with finances (which blew up time and time again), making good choices and bad, volunteering for MIMA (Minnesota Interactive Marketing Association), even taking on the Marketing Chair role and applying for and getting turned down for jobs – over and over. A seeming endless supply of no. Sometimes with a personal touch, like the supposed networking contacts that would suddenly become silent if I actually applied for the job that they were hawking on social. My personal favorite: you don’t have enough experience (or too much?).

The other side of the coin included the realization that my family members weren’t going to sit idly by and support me emotionally. Or maybe, someday after I am on the other side of clearing out all the shared, passed on, and ancestral beliefs that were woven into my chakra systems, and I was humming along like a fine-oiled machine – I could imagine that the constant negatively charged emails, support checks that came late or reduced by $100s so I had to incur overdraft fees, and borrow money at exorbitant interest rates as well as the barrage of judgments like “you should have had your act together by now...” were all in my best interest.

That somehow – I owed my family allegiance, or silence or that my social posts, blogs and Facebook Lives were just too much for them. While it is possible, and probable that I misinterpreted through the lens of my process some of the intentions, I also know that unconditional acceptance has never been part of the mix. Moreover, my sessions were leading me to believe I’d carried ancestral belief systems which contributed to just that – including my feelings of shame and guilt for not being “good enough” which I held for myself.

My experience of my family flew in the face of the learnings from “Evolutionary Love Relationships” by Saade/Harvey. Also, the more time I spent with the new friends I was making as well as the old ones, whose generally supportive, unconditional families were like a whole new frontier, the more I saw real life examples of how it could be. This was both gratifying and difficult. Gratifying because I could reform in my mind a self- concept and community concept based on unconditional love, and difficult because I’d face I never really had that. What I accepted as normal was not in fact normal at all. Possibly even abusive and that abuse had been normalized.

Often, my own internal struggles were mirrored not just in my family of origin but in politics, where our President, cabinet and other players as well as world events were literally “blowing up” on a daily basis and things as we had known them could no longer be counted upon.

Still, over the course of the summer, I have had some peak moments that didn’t involve crying in the park under my sunglasses (yes that happened on Canada Day after a very difficult 24-hours with family/money). I deepened my connection to a whole new group of friends in my neighborhood – even as I knew I would need to move out, took two trips to the Minnesota State Fair, experienced more laughter and inner knowing and discovering “what I am called to create” and got bought plenty of alcohol on my birthday with the private social media group “Lowertown Drinking Club.”

I am still in process, but quickly getting clearer about what I want in relationship when it shows up, how I want to feel (or not) and what true love really means to me. I am also learning that not everything spiritual or related to the Law of Attraction comes to you in the way you originally envisioned. Sometimes it is very, very different and the true path is learning to accept and go with the flow.

I did a shit ton of letting go – friends, self-concepts, original concepts about my dreams/career, long-held boundaries – yes, I might move in with roommates again, yes, I would be willing to do a 2nd job in restaurants, yes – I would keep working at the same job I’d had for the last 3 years (at least for now).

Not sure that I am totally “at one” with trusting God/Goddess with all this – sometimes I throw a fit like the best of them. And yet, little by little I have gotten more secure in my position and understanding and my belief in myself. My intuition feels clearer than ever.

And here we are…in a new Universe with the world as my oyster…almost.

Want to work with me? Coaching, healing work such as Access Consciousness Bars, Akashic Record readings and transformational energywork - bookings available online or send me an email. I accept payments/ donations through Paypal in order to sustain myself and build my business.

In addition to personal transformation, we can work on your branding and marketing also bookable via my Online booking portal. You can also provide donations/trades of the following: acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, food, gas, pay for my Internet or anything you can suggest. Look forward to working with you!

#soul #EvolutionaryLove #Transformation #intimacy #romance #Heartwalls #EmotionCode #threedimensionaltherapy #empathic #career #networking #Marketing #mindset #process #learning #MIMA #jobsearching #energyclearing #emotionalsupport #personaljourney #change #life #story #family #Love #selflove #writing

Stories of Wandering Duluth - Tourist and Marketer

Recently, I visited Duluth Minnesota to attend the Zenith Digital Marketing Conference 2017.

Last year, I attended Zenith 2016, not long after having graduated with my MBA in Integrated Marketing. While we learned various integrated marketing basics in school along with our business education, it is not until you enter the real world that the true work begins. Zenith was a part of that for me. To be surrounded by marketers and marketing language and the all the sub-culture attributes was like being a kid in a candy store.

Now that I have cut my teeth covering events for MIMA and working on the Irish Fair’s marketing plan, I ventured there again. This time, with awareness and experience under my belt. Rather than rush, I wanted to spend more time relaxing and integrating my time away from my day job.

Night One:

I ventured out to “see the town.” So, downtown Duluth is not exactly hopping on a Wednesday night. In fact, by the time I checked in, most of the stores were closed or closing for the day. Snow was wafting down from the skies, as it had been ever since I stopped for bakery at Tobies.

I stayed at the Radisson, a round building known for their moving restaurant. It wasn’t open for the season yet. After walking around for a bit, I decided to stop in at The Blind Pig, a local café. Upon entering, the door attendant suggested I go see and try out the Rathskeller, an additional bar area in the basement below. He said, “Pick floor Minus One, not One. One is a creepy basement area used for storage.” Duly noted. Indeed, the elevator button was (-1) According to the website, this used to be the old prison.

The place was virtually empty when I arrived, except for two local regulars enjoying whiskey. As it turned out, it was “Whiskey Wednesday” at The Blind Pig/Rathskeller. I don’t normally do the whiskey but “when in Rome.” By my 2nd glass, I enjoyed a peaty number that tasted of burned gasoline – but it fit with the musty cellar and ghost stories. Yes, I even got to see the picture of one of the resident ghosts that showed up as a very distinct grey outline on someone’s photo (shown to me by the bartender on his phone).

One of the jokes tossed out was about a friend of the two regulars who lived up north near the border. “He’s practically Canadian, he lives right there on the border.” To which the bartender said, “Well, he probably just wants to jump right over about now and be Canadian.” Referring, I am sure to our political situation here in the States. Some talk about fishing and the weather.

After my time at -1 was done, I needed food, so I headed back up the elevator to floor 2 or was it 3. I ordered the house special, lamb Shawarma. On stage, a local band called WhiskeyTrail played country covers. I found my foot tapping and myself singing along. I only had few bucks left so my tip was small. I saw on their FB page that someone recently gave them $50. I felt a bit unprepared.

Course, I was lucky to be in Duluth at all. Building my career has been rough going. Volunteering my time, attending conferences with my own resources since my current role isn’t marketing related. Hearing a lot of “Nos.” It takes a lot of tenacity. I try not to eat too many ramen noodles, but I know that is a famous story of people wanting to follow a dream. Maybe it isn’t ramen noodles but small tips, or scraping up the money to take the next step and hoping it all works out.

Day Two:

I head out early – 7:30am. Since the hotel shuttle doesn’t start until 9am, I am on my own to walk to the Greysolon Ballroom – an event space near The Blind Pig. The weather is cool, a few snowflakes fall and the ground is wet but I am excited to be here.

After getting breakfast and coffee and settling down, Marty Weintraub - founder of AimClear - kicks off the morning’s Keynote by taking a picture of us all with his fisheye lens. From morning until about 4:30pm when everything wraps up for happy hour, we’re running around learning. Given that I am attending MIMA events at least twice a month, it is amazing how much I have learned and retained since the process started a year ago. Acronyms like SEO (search engine optimization) and AI (artificial intelligence) are familiar to me and that includes typical uses for brands.

When the day wraps up, we’re all ready for the after party at Blacklist Artisan Ales. , a new brew pub featuring Belgian-Inspired beer. A Canadian friend suggested the night before that I visit “Last Place on Earth.” When I looked it up, it was “permanently closed.” Turned out he was joking (I think). Why? Because the proprietor of the “head shop” was in jail.

Little did I know, until our group took the brewery tour that we were actually in the same space! One of the Duluthian’s explained that the previous owner had been investigated for some time for selling something called “Bath Salts,” which in theory could have been bath salts but when smoked or eaten or whatever someone crazy would do with those, were an illegal narcotic. Lovely. Seedy under-belly of Duluth.

Over the course of the evening, I met and talked with marketers, mostly from Duluth, but others were sole proprietors from the Twin Cities or students. I mentioned more in my previous blog. Katie and I ended up talking with one of the owners Jon Loss of Blacklist and his partner Elissa and getting into the nitty-gritty of beer making in the tour. From one type of chemistry to another, I suppose.

We discussed marketing strategy and ideas. It felt good to be here. Article about Black List

Day Three:

Went out for breakfast and ended up at the Holiday Inn’s restaurant near my hotel, so that I wouldn’t waste too much time. Nora, my waitress was nowhere to be found so the back-up helped and soon I was rocking and rolling with steak, eggs, pancakes and coffee. Took care of business and writing for several hours in the hotel lobby after check-out. Then I headed out to Namaste, a healing store.

Just my kind of place – candles, spiritual statues of gods and goddesses, healing books and crystals. The feeling in there was so amazing. If I could, I would have taken a few large crystals home with me. There were beautiful lava rocks and large columns. Immediately I was drawn to Quan Yin, a goddess I work with extensively in Transforming Blockages. In the end, I took a couple of candles for my altar and incense.

From Namaste, I headed across the freeway to the tanker boat. However, at 3pm, the last tour had left. Grandma’s, a known landmark restaurant on the pier, where happy hour was in full swing with ½ price drinks and cheap apps. For a tourist destination, it had its fair share of locals, and I felt out of place, maybe a little different. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the ambiance and the history showing in the old signage and photographs.

My final stop before leaving Duluth to head back to St Paul, was the local Starbucks. I drank my Mocha while charging my phone. A Somali man enjoyed his coffee while iPading in the corner and another guy listened to something on his headset while watching passersby in the window. Outside my view, the Duluth steam escaped from drain holes by the intersection.

I remembered the Blacklist owners talking the night before about how they used the steam to make beer and without it would require a much larger space and more equipment. The intersection of environment, city policy/resources and commerce.

All in all, I needed this experience of expansion in Duluth. A city full of stories, locals and seafaring folk who masquerade as brewmasters and computer geeks. The occasional marketer from AimClear, maybe. I may not know when my career will be full-time marketing, but what I do know is I love the process and where it is taking me. How else would I become so intimately connected to the thriving businesses and storytelling of this community?

Want to work with me? Coaching, healing work such as Access Consciousness Bars, Akashic Record readings and transformational energywork - bookings available online or send me an email. I accept payments/ donations through Paypal in order to sustain myself and build my business.

In addition to personal transformation, we can work on your branding and marketing also bookable via my Online booking portal. You can also provide donations/trades of the following: acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, food, gas, pay for my Internet or anything you can suggest. Look forward to working with you!

#Duluth #Travel #Zenith2017 #Marketing #EvolutionaryLove #Transformation #Food #career #networking #blog #conferences #learning #personaljourney #life #business #trust #process #mindset #Authenticity #community #Journey #Spirituality #creative