Nine Houses: My first studio at Lowertown Lofts

House #1

My first moves in the Twin Cities, happened way before I ended up at Lowertown Lofts in St Paul.

I came all the way across the country in 2010 seeking a life that didn’t involve living at home with my parents as an adult.

The California of 2008/2009, reeling from the multiple econonmic failures of the time, was not a hospitable place in many ways. Hiring freezes and an over-saturated job market going back to the woes of September 11, tech start-up failures, Enron and the financial markets as well as the later mortgage crises were the norm. I felt lucky to get temp jobs and most of them didn't last over six months.

Moving to Minnesota, was both a risk and a challenge to live differently. I left the comfortable, known world in California and ventured east.

My soul called to me and said, “You are going.” This was both frightening and exhilarating. I had plenty of time to deal with the feelings around this yearning to follow my soul’s call and yet, as time passed, it became this daily feeling of uncomfortable staying home in California. I might not ever explain it logically. I just knew that if I didn’t go, I would get more and more uncomfortable.

I realize now just how unusual it is to live beyond one’s comfort zone and follow the call of soul. So many would never do what I did. At the time, I had gone through enough spiritual and personal growth to know that the best aspects of life come when we’re willing to venture (maybe not entirely fearlessly) into the unknown.

I can tell a story about what inspired me to live in Minnesota and the Twin Cities. A collection of facts and figures. I’ve told parts of and versions of it to many people. And yet, the most important part of it all is that I was willing to follow the energy that occurred at the time and go after my best life.

Maybe the only thing I didn’t know, was that it wasn’t going to be a short journey with an easy rise to the top. It turned out to consist of starting over with multiple deaths and rebirths along the way. That was the sacred path I had chosen, I suppose.

By the end of end of 2010 I’d lived in my friend’s parent’s house in Osseo; a room in the house of a local music promoter which I rented for a small weekly fee; a room in the house of a disabled alcoholic who stayed up all night playing computer games and a room in a student pad on the University of Minnesota campus. The student pad was the last straw. Between the loud parties, pot smoking, crazy roommates and washing machine that didn’t work, I was fed up.

The path to Lowertown Lofts

I asked for help from my parents to move into an apartment. At the time, I looked for a place that was the antithesis of the insanity I’d lived in for a year as I began my new life in Minnesota. However, I still didn’t have a steady job or a temp job that paid more than $13/hour. I couldn’t technically afford Lowertown Lofts.

I had a healthy dose of belief that around the corner, something good had to come. It had to get better. What I didn’t realize at the time I signed my first lease at Lowertown Lofts was that my soul and God had a much bigger plan for me than simply getting a nice apartment and cushy job.

This path I was taking would not be linear, normal or even explainable. It was a journey toward a type of self-love that most people never achieve, and I continue to work on. And that type of crucible like experience in which your entire way of being is cleaned out, morphed, remade and spit back out, would take years, not months.

Lowertown Lofts was not my first choice

By first choice, I mean, I almost went after an artist’s loft at one of St Paul’s many buildings (at the time) dedicated to fostering arts in the city. I had already published my collection of short stories and poetry titled “The Journey of the Malevolent Empress” and so I had a portfolio. I’d visited the building for the art crawls St Paul conducts twice a year.

I imagined participating in these crawls and the artist community and thought it would be inspiring and exciting. At the time, a huge 1-bedroom loft was about $150 a month cheaper than Lowertown Lofts. My income which was limited at best, certainly qualified for the Section 42 income restrictions. I still couldn’t technically afford it. I am not sure if it would have been a better choice to end up there. because I didn't choose it.

At the last minute, before I signed the lease, I visited the Lowetown Lofts. It had a coffee maker/espresso machine in the lobby with free coffee, access to a rooftop pool in the summer, a great walk-in wardrobe, and a view of Mear’s Park. Even though (unknown to me) I would shortly be let go from my temp job and be unemployed, I managed to use my meager paystub to get approved.

How faulty were my thoughts?

If all the belief systems I have released in the last few years through Three-Dimensional Therapy are any indication, despite my clear intuition to go after the Lowertown Lofts studio, it is likely that the choice was built on a heavy dose of faulty-thinking. We’ll never know how I may have made different choices as I headed into my second year in Minnesota because that is not how life works. We do our best with the information and limited “intuition” we have.

The reason I remember choosing the Lowertown Lofts studio over any other option – an affordable room in a different location, the Tilsner space or an apartment in a cheaper neighborhood -- was pretty clear at the time and made perfect sense.

When I visited the Tilsner artist space several someone’s were smoking pot in their rooms – the unmistakable smell of burning greenery floated through the halls. Anyone who knows me knows I can’t stand the smell and have had very strong viewpoints about the use of it – specifically for myself, and more largely the energy of being around pot when others are using it. I’d just planned my escape from a house where regular parties included pot. I was already turned off.

The affordable room in a different location was largely not considered because I’d just spent a year couch surfing, in addition to the practical camping in the above-mentioned unsavory locales. The mixed results of these experiences were fresh in my mind. The memories of putting up with insane behavior and various aspects of my housemate’s mental illness as well as subjecting myself to what I saw of as the dregs of humanity were too overwhelming.

Only a year into my living in the Twin Cities, I didn’t know the area or the available rentals well enough. I also didn’t have reliable Internet most of the time to conduct a thorough search. In addition, I didn’t own a car so I was heavily restricted on locations close to bus routes with easy access to the majority of job sites I might be sent to with a temp agency.

My main goals with this move were not living within a means that was unreliable in the first place. It was to have a sanctuary where I could come home and be at peace, free from what I perceived as negative vibes, bad behavior and unsavory practices. I wanted to enjoy my existence and not be fighting turf wars with other people’s demons.

I sought something greater- a beautiful space, an adult life-style, a means to extend myself into this new community. Even though I needed my parent’s help with finances, I considered the apartment a long way and a far cry from living in their house. I felt on my way to a more independent life.

A decision made, peace at last

I signed my first lease at Lowertown Lofts and moved in with the help of two women friends from the St Paul Curling Club. Donations of kitchen supplies came from a recently married couple at the curling club who provided dishes, glassware and more. Some additional kitchenware I purchased with any extra money I could scrape up, adding to my collection of stainless-steel pans with trips to Marshalls in downtown Minneapolis.

Peace and tranquility appeared to be achieved and I was certain that a great job paying twice as much as most of the jobs I was getting through OfficeTeam would be right around the corner. I mean I had a Master’s Degree and fifteen years’ experience as an Executive Assistant. No brainer, right?

Maybe if I truly had faulty-thinking it was in the area of time and in accepting what my true calling really was. And that, was not going to happen overnight or even in the next few years. I just wasn’t willing to accept this and therefore didn’t see it coming.

In the next blog, I’ll go into more detail about my lessons that came as I started my new life as an apartment dweller in Lowertown, St. Paul. This city apartment was the first of two studios I occupied in the building in my time at Lowertown Lofts and living downtown.

Adventures would be had, cooking mishaps and difficult life experiences. It would turn out to be quite the journey of self-exploration.

#2019 #ancestraltrauma #BodyCode #boundaries #mind #financialhealth #betterchoices #selfhelp #connectiontoself #energy #energyclearing #familytrauma #innerwork #wellness #wellbeing #TrueNorth #bestself #soul #Transformation #patterns #empathic #empath #career #threedimensionaltherapy #jobsearching #mindset #learning #process #emotionalsupport #personaljourney #life #Authenticity #selfempowerment #selflove #Writing

Day 21: What happens when you pass on a miasm for 80 odd generations and other thoughts

Biking too and from my part-time job at the restaurant downtown tonight I was struck by just how much easier it has gotten to bike long distances (with hills even). The summer has been a good one for me – steady biking, building strength. Not just emotional strength, physical ability.

There’s something about that challenge of coming up Summit hill, near the Saint Paul Cathedral that clears my mind. The pure physicality of it. The mental process of pumping the pedals on the bike and foot by foot making it further up the hills.

Moving so often has also lent itself to a kind of mental strength-building. Each location and the time I spent there having its own particular energy associated with it.

The east St Paul house with its strange noises and quirky rooms. The kitchen that had chintzy cabinets and where when cooking, the whole house would fill with smoke.

The Grand Avenue student pad where young people studied and frolicked with their boyfriends. Grew veggies on the windowsill and cooked much healthier meals that I can. Their exuberance and innocence reminding me of what it was like to start college so many years ago. This juxtaposed with the austere and opulent old homes of Summit and Grand.

Now I move again. This segment an even more nomadic style – camping almost. Sharing the homes of people who have offered me space for shorter periods. My belongings will be stored. Who knows how that experience will inform my soul.

Each move christened me anew. Challenged my senses. Supported my growth and development as I did healing work on this trauma that has affected so many areas of my life

That silent and unknown set of beliefs which restricted my expression. In my last session, the practitioner found something called a miasm, which is an unresolved distortion created by disease which occurred in an ancestor that was not cleared before their death. It is then transferred through generations and is a point of limited creation. I had one from 126 AD!

Today I looked up 126AD, just for fun and apparently in Rome Hadrian was building The Pantheon – an engineering marvel of his time and beyond. Of course, I don’t know where my erstwhile ancestor lived, nevertheless they gave a gift that kept on giving (and not in a good way) until it was cleared Monday.

It related to a limited belief of “lack of love.” Which if you think about it would affect many areas of one’s life because the world can only reflect that which you believe. And if you believe there is no love, then no one can gift you anything. They might take, they might pillage, they could create debt with you, but they most certainly could not gift you without exacting a cost.

I am sure it is more complex than that, even, Still, it is an interesting thing to ponder. We are only in the infancy of understanding how energy like this is passed on, and what challenges it poses to the person now carrying it.

Moreover, just knowing about it is not enough. People are attached to their illnesses and afflictions. Changing that takes courage and conviction and a willingness to give up that which you believe to be true about yourself. What gets you attention, albeit negative. What fosters your internal martyr, perhaps.

And it seems if my ancestors kept passing the buck when given the opportunity to work on that issue, most folks simply won’t bother to go there. Pretending, perhaps they had no choice.

#2018 #ancestraltrauma #financialhealth #selfhelp #breakthrough #BodyCode #mind #innerwork #energy #connectiontoself #connection #Transformation #familytrauma #family #wellness #health #bestself #learning #patterns #process #mindset #energyclearing

Day 20: Why am I not writing about Marketing SEO best practices for your business?

This 30-day writing adventure may not get me any clients.

Or will it? No idea. I pride myself on my authentic writing style and doing whatever is the opposite of what other people do marketing approach.

One of my coaches, Stacy Nelson said she started her business, always doing what other people said not to do.

I haven’t written anything about how to do content marketing or SEO practices for your small business or anything like that. (yet)

The reason I haven’t is because right now, I am flexing my author muscles and authentic voice, on a 30-day journey into the unknown of my psyche. After talking with a potential client today at length about his marketing and business, I realized that my 30-day journey had absolutely nothing to do with creating my marketing and digital storytelling business.

Well, not exactly, anyway.

Was I revealing too much, being too much, turning people off? Was this even my client or should I refer him to a different “expert?”

All legitimate questions at this stage of the game. Also, how was I best going to serve him should we move forward? Was this too big a job? Or was this project what I was being called to do right this moment?

Holy Toledo! I need to write a proposal and not just write about moving, finances, and my journey of healing. And why am I writing about those things instead of SEO, Marketing best practices or something I could use to build my business?

Great questions….

The bottom line is – I may do some of that after I finish my 30days. I may use time post the 30 days to continue using the muscles I build and the discipline – to work on my novel project – see the “Publishing” page for descriptions.

I feel like my clients are real people, who value an authentic approach. They are real, down-to-earth and want something bigger for the planet or themselves. That doesn’t mean they all look like a guru on a pillow, meditating. It means that they value connection, have a story to tell and maybe want to make changes in their profession or use their expertise in new ways.

I guess the journey here will help me hone my own energetic relay messages. I’ve had two people who want to build websites come to me and that’s not my expertise (exactly) but perhaps it *should* be. Could I find a website builder co-conspirator?

Hmm…looks like I need to roll up my sleeves and see what I can do here. It’s either do that or go back to complaining about the job hunt. And that doesn’t seem quite as proactive as I’d like.

#2018 #breakthrough #innerwork #mind #energy #Marketing #bestself #mindset #blog #jobsearching #SoulJourney #Clients #SEO #blogging #financialhealth #betterchoices #career

Day 19: How the possibility of being homeless seems to rally The Creator (in me)

Nothing like almost being homeless to rally the creative gene. This really isn’t my idea of a good time but “trust the Universe” is often an action rather than a state-of-mind.

I have five more days in my current residence and the place I thought I was going to go, has more drama surrounding it being available than I expected. Or did I expect too much or was I just in a wishful thinking mode? All three. Possibly all three.

Anyway, my friend with the trailer, his back is out. Sounds serious. So, the day started off there. Now I need movers. Here I am Ms. Lone Wolf, I rarely hang out with people (I know hard to believe because I am “social” at parties but mostly that is in passing) and now I gotta find movers.

Just that alone brings on anxiety. Nevermind, the fact that I don’t exactly have the ideal circumstances under which to move – making the available options people who know and like me enough to take me on. You really have to either totally get me and know me, or be open to whatever is being asked of you. I think this separates the wheat from the chaff. Meanwhile you might see or hear me freaking out.

My family (of origin) is out of touch. We don’t see eye-to-eye about anything, let alone this. I reach out and confirm this. Or they confirm what I have been suspecting for months.

While simultaneously wracking my brains for who else is available (that probably I think won’t help at all). I realized that was my standard response to all human interaction – that they are unlikely to even give a f’k -- is why I ended up this Lone Wolf person. It was like the only person I know who I can rely on most of the time was me.

Except this approach does not work for this circumstance. It kinda is an interesting pattern. A response, perhaps to my family upbringing, a method that ensures a kind of stalwart protection against rejection. It is neither meaningful nor relevant in creating. Because we are all co-creators, we are all relying on each other.

I reach out via text to a few people. Take a walk. Listen to some Access clearing statements on loop. Reply to my father – for some reason. I don’t understand how I keep thinking there is something to say here when there is clearly nothing to say. I am not seen. It isn’t happening – ever. Not unless I look, walk and talk a certain way and that is not happening, right now. Actually, who am I kidding? Will it matter if I walked and talked differently? I should matter now.

Anyway, that is when my friend from Restaurant #1 gets a hold of me – she can put me up at her place – at least for a few months. I’d have to store my furniture elsewhere.

I had two more friends reach out via my Facebook post with different offers to help. Both possible leads.

My friend and colleague from my volunteer work texted with me both on finding me moving help for Friday AND a place to stay for the weekend – or beyond.

Now I am overwhelmed with choices in the space of a few hours where I originally had hardly any. Go me for demanding something change here! And not just change materially – I mean change within my own heart about what was possible.

THAT took all the tools. That made me see I couldn't go backwards, I was going forwards. And into the unknown for real.

Guess, I’ll keep moving, then…

#2018 #boundaries #frustrations #breakthrough #sevenyear #ancestraltrauma #innerwork #mind #mindset #financialhealth #betterchoices #selfhelp #energy #energyclearing #connectiontoself #health #wellness #soul #familytrauma #Transformation #bestself #Relating #process #Vulnerability #intuition #Relationship

Day 18: My time on Grand Avenue and reflections on the past year

The rain finally cleared this evening. I love the crisp air that came with it, kind of giving a taste of the fall weather to come.

I started packing. Packing into the unknown of what is next, as I am being called foward.

Since my shift was cut at the theater restaurant, I thought, I might as well begin the organizational process. The State Fair is going full swing, I can hear the fireworks each night. I see photos on Facebook of happy fair-going friends. Without a restaurant shift this weekend though, my finances (or lacktherof) are restrictive. If everything is a choice, I have to choose not to go.

As I took my walk tonight down Grand Avenue, I could breathe in the fresh smells of the rain-soaked trees, pine and green. The wet dirt too was evident in the mix. All my senses were alive. Over the last few months, I got to know this street well.

The shops, the people, the street music. New places and old familiar ones. This is an older neighborhood, surrounded by stately homes. I can imagine at some point carriages not cars traversed the well -trodden lanes of yore. Servant’s quarters have given way to rental cottages and studios.

The trees are ancient, trunks and branches thicker than those you’d see in other parts of the city. They have their stories to tell for sure. You sense it walking around - that deeper energy of a place, well-established. A wisdom. A feel of old money and structure.

I realized tonight that I have grown to think and feel so differently in the last year. We’re coming up on almost a year since I moved from my Lowertown apartment and entered this nomadic phase. Everything is in boxes. I hardly need to pack – it is more like re-organizing things, honestly.

For many people, the unknown adventure I have been taking, with these unusual shifts and turns, would be unheard of, or lack the control or definition they’d prefer. Fear might over-take them. Instead, I have chosen to trust Spirit, and be in allowance of the process. To be upheld by something deeper and richer than myself.

It is easy to fall into the trap of most people’s thinking. On this year of finding my true self, I prefer to think of it as exploring with new eyes. Experiencing a full range of what might be possible. I let a lot less mind-dialogue into my realm, these days. I simply imagine, ask and receive.

That’s not to say that this is like a magic wand. *poof* There it is! More like a process and a dance. Obviously, in some cases things are more complex and take time to boil to complete meals. In those cases, the anticipation and cooking process is what I concentrate on.

My room I have been in since April, is a chaotic mess. I started bringing my suitcases out and packing my shelves. My clothes are being organized and bubble wrap is everywhere. It may be awhile before all this is unpacked. Nevertheless, I look forward to building a new space again when the time is right.

I don’t think I have a lot of “stuff” but what I do have, I cherish for the stories they tell. The spiritual artifacts, the memories attached. Course, it is not really the things that matter. What matters is how I feel in my heart each day. The connection I have to source and the amazing journey we call this one life.

#2018 #breakthrough #mind #innerwork #betterchoices #energy #selfhelp #connectiontoself #wellness #health #soul #bestself #mindset #newoutlook #process #energyclearing #personaljourney #creative

Day 17.5: Volunteer celebrations and more thoughts on the job hunt

I attended the MIMA volunteer appreciation event on August 23. Great night for a get together here at the start of our State Fair in Minnesota.

Unfortunately, only a handful of our volunteers attended. The rest missed out, though since the rooftop on the Baker building was amazing.

The street noise and hustle of our Minneapolis downtown was hushed in the serene enclave of tall buildings and warm breezes.

We enjoyed each other’s company.

I connected with some of our newer board members and volunteers as well as those of us who had seen at least one turn around the sun together. It is amazing to think that I’ve been with the organization since October 2016. I feel like I have grown, my portfolio certainly and I have had the opportunity to be mentored by some serious force in the industry.

Now for that to translate to paid work and a growing list of professional accomplishments.

No doubt it is has been a tough road. I talked to my long-time volunteer Jeremy – who was already working for MIMA when I joined, about how I was surprised that after I finished with TR, I ended up unemployed for so long. All these interviews and not even a bite.

Nothing to feel sorry for I guess, plenty of people have said they’ve been out of work for long periods of time before. Or that it can be tough to get that first big break in the industry.

Nevertheless, I have seen enough posts on social to know that our HR systems and hiring paths are not exactly working at their finest all the time. It is frustrating to both those looking to fill a position and those job seeking.

In some ways, I feel like this summer has been one of learning, growth and development. Still, making a living and having a career would be great also. As would being able to sustain oneself. I have watched over the years, friends go through difficult times, lean ones even. And bounce back at some stage with a new job, more money and travel (often with the job). I keep this in mind as I keep going.

Resourcefulness is key. I also rely on others a lot – for everything from help moving, to places to stay to free meals. I hope to pay it forward someday down the road.

Going back to the system – the job postings that aren’t real postings, the department heads who are unclear what they really want and use the hiring process to figure it out, recruiters who don’t actually want to work with you for the long haul, just make quotas and ignore calls, the networking contacts who try to be supportive but have no idea how to help (or what you do), the strange interview processes…

Ok the list could go on for days. No point in filling my blog with “the list” – does anyone do the hiring process in a good way that would be beneficial, conscious and helpful to all? I’m wondering if there is a book topic that could come from this exploration?

What are some or all the reasons that hiring has gone from mostly personal to a faceless or even demoralizing journey? And if taxi cabs and bicycles can be disrupted, is there a way to do it with HR too?

I guess we’ll just leave those questions “out there” and see where that line of thought takes me. For now, I’ll head back to the job boards and use my Friday to find some new interviews for that great job!

#2018 #jobsearching #jobs #MIMA #financialhealth #innerwork #betterchoices #connectiontoself #wellness #bestself #mind #mindset #selfhelp #career #energy #patterns #process

Day 16: It is just a restaurant job and more unusual synchronicities

Tonight, consisted of more interesting juxtapositions. And by that, I mean how you can plan to do one thing and end up doing something completely different (however, maybe more noteworthy).

I went for a walk – it is my last full week in the neighborhood on Grand Ave, which I have been residing in since April. I gotta be out of the student pad on Aug 31. School is starting, the third and final student is moving in and I am persona non grata. Probably as it should be.

Although I am not the example for 20-year-olds in the prime of their existence of a long-term trajectory. I only hope they are not currently contemplating this path. I certainly wasn’t. Hope and naivete should probably reign supreme a bit longer. If one of the three is actually on my path, they probably won’t know it for a while yet and can scream, jump up and down and talk too loud for another year or two. haha

Anyway, I went walking down Grand, only to find out that Red Rabbit was hiring for the October 2 opening. Heck, why not, I thought. Filled out an application and talked to the GM who was probably all of 25. Nevertheless, in his exuberant youthfulness, he thought the best I could do after 6 months of serving at Restaurant #1 was to be host for barely more than minimum wage. Granted, I didn’t get into my MBA in marketing or that sort of jazz. That does not seem applicable, honestly.

I left a bit annoyed -because ultimately, I was looking to consolidate restaurant jobs and find a serving job at the next level, maybe while I do my other job hunting. I’m not interested in hosting again. I got that down. It was there, I took a chance. Burst into flames. Kept walking.

Hung out at The Lexington for the evening, where I end up meeting the bartender who normally works the lounge, a guy named Patrick who works at The Local, in Minneapolis, talking to Joe (manager, who also curls) and otherwise having a fantastic experience.

Tried my first Aperol Spritz. A drink one of my customer’s at the serving gig asked for (unfortunately we didn’t have Aperol). The bartender mentioned at the end of the night that she had hardly any experience bartending when she applied to The Lex but a willingness to learn and she has picked it up. So, I mentioned my application to the other place and she said, “Oh no, if you have already been serving, go try the Marriott hotel or other places and talk your way in.”

See sometimes, you just need to hear that it is possible before you keep going. (she also is 24)

Although frankly, is that what I really want? Well, first off, clearly given my website and my job hunt, working restaurants is not what I want. Furthermore, restaurant #2 is dysfunctional in a way that is close to trauma and I’d like out. Still, quitting is problematic with my other stuff going on. **sigh**

At any rate, I may keep trying for an upgrade to the restaurant biz while I work on my clients and the real job. I often wish I could have gotten all this earlier in my life like 22-24. Nevertheless, here we are. I’d just submitted a resume via a recruiter for $17 an hour (with an MBA) and was thinking – geez…if that is the way it going to be (and really these corporations need to examine themselves) why’d I bother going back to school?

Anyway…life is weird. And no doubt, I can’t let that get to me – the contract job app is simply energy, movement, stuff happening. It probably won’t work out anyway (just read the resume, for given sake). And we are at the end of summer so the likelihood of having to wait another month for any significant further movement is high. (State Fair!)

Hey, if other amazing people in history and even currently have some rags to riches story to tell, I am not the only one. Plan to just keep meditating and persevering and working on my plan. Go me!

#2018 #sevenyear #frustrations #breakthrough #mind #Curling #innerwork #betterchoices #connectiontoself #soul #selfhelp #meditation #health #Transformation #bestself #Food #career #mindset #process #personaljourney #energy #patterns #jobsearching

Day 15.5: Curling Community as the Glue that Binds Me to Something Greater

I didn’t write last night I did however, volunteer at the Saint Paul Curling club.

In last night's project, we unfurled long sheets of plastic and stapled them to the walkways or over the seat, so the flooding of the ice floor (seen in this photo with ice) can start in a few weeks. Our club is not year-round, we take a break to work on club projects and repairs.

Season preparation begins

Yes, the curling club prepareth for a new season of curling!

There are plenty of projects to be completed – new lighting in the back stairs, new TV installations and the office is getting repainted.

I appreciate the curling fam so much that contributing in this small, and yet meaningful way helps everything feel “greater.”

Plus, it is never a bad thing to connect with people you think of as family and josh about the latest goings on.

We lost a few members back-to-back over the course of the summer, a more somber reflection. A few of us on Tuesday night work crew spoke about our friend Mike Staffaroni. His teammates reformed and added a fourth player. A palpable sadness lingered when his name was mentioned.

Our long-time kitchen manager is in hospice care with advanced cancer. He continues to take visitors and when things are going better on a given day, chatting with them as though nothing has changed.

Ever changing landscapes

Change is inevitable, and over the years good friends have come and gone from the curling club. Some through life altering or ending circumstances, others due to divorce and some because they chose to head to other states and places for work. Nevertheless, each year, a certain consistency is self-evident and steady. Some jokes get recycled, the furniture occasionally wobbles, and the ice is never the way we’d think is “perfect.”

Curling for me is a life-changing sport. Maybe I wish I’d grown up here, like so many of the legacy families – in which curling was introduced first as a baby in a basket as Mom and Dad curled Friday Mixed, later joining juniors on Saturday mornings and progressing to Junior Nationals or the Olympics. Still, curling came to me just when I needed it. A type of divine intervention to the journey I undertook moving to Minnesota.

Early days

I remember back to those first few years, learning balance and falling consistently. Then there was the process of painstakingly obtaining equipment – a broom, a slider, later replaced by official curling shoes and of course all the clothing styles and types. What would be required to stay as warm as possible for two straight hours on the ice?

Trying on teams, skips and nights of the week. Adding and subtracting the number of nights I curled. Subbing in on teams across the map so that I built up a knowledge of differing styles of play. Improving each season as I progressed from shaky and uncontrolled deliveries to focus, and often, making the shots that were called.

Physically and emotionally, there is something about curling that tests our limits as humans in the safe space of comradery, family and etiquette.

Clarity and form

Many times, over the years, being at the curling club throwing rocks, as the 42-pound granite play pieces are called, helped me to forget for a moment the troubles or concerns of the day, for just long enough sometimes that solutions often presented themselves.

On other occasions, members of the club were there for moves or rides or simply as friends. My entire kitchen collection (almost) was established through a donation of one of the curling members who’d recently gotten married and had extra items.

More recently, I started a bonspiel team called “Team D’Bed Rocks.” I am having fun building the team roster and playing with our bonspiel aliases which all have some sexual innuendo. I love the interaction and questions that come about. Hopefully, this season I get a logo and banner made as well as name badges.

Throughout the years I have been tested by this family, laughed, cried and enjoyed countless shared experiences which made me a better, more richly nuanced human.

I can’t imagine having survived eight years and seasons without them. Even the two seasons I only played half-time due to school requirements when I finished my MBA were key to my sanity.

Community is so vital to feeling connected to the great thing we call life. Holding us firm when life gets shaky, providing consistency and resolve. And when things are amazingly good – like that time I won a championship game with Team Fenner (see the blog here) -- the pats on the pack are worth their weight in gold.

#2018 #Curling #olympics #competition #mind #mindset #selfhelp #energy #energyclearing #connectiontoself #betterchoices #innerwork #wellness #health #soul #bestself #networking #learning #process #jobsearching #selfempowerment #Authenticity

Day 14: Uncomfortable Circumstances, Growth and New Horizons on the Move

I started working on a communication strategy playbook for my client. Great to go from the research to the execution of the preliminary brand identity. Ideas are swimming. I wish I had better access to my marketing texts which happen to be all stuffed in crates in the basement.

Maybe I can fish them out as I get ready to move at month end. Eventually, but not immediately I should be moving to a place with enough space for me to have my tomes on display again. This cramped living situation in two different temporary locations since October 2017, has not been easy by any stretch of the imagination.

It is like being in a cage and you can’t quiet get comfortable. I’ve been using a mattress that my roommate provided. They’re all 20 and use them to sleep on the floor. It is the most uncomfortable thing I can think of to sleep on, although maybe youth provides some kind of additional insulation against the sore spots and stiff joints I have experienced since April. Apparently these disposible spring matrresses are a normal solution for college student bedding.

My clothes are all stuffed in crates or in the very tiny closet and some things I wish I could access remain packed. The room is nice enough, the hardwood floor is probably its best feature. I couldn't really get much more in here though and there is only one outlet!

Different spaces and their qualities

While it is true that material things and space may not be the all-that-is-everything, it is certain that when you are used to spreading out and finding things you need, and having a certain organization about it, not having it is restrictive. What is the lesson in this restrictive circumstance?

Certainly, I have felt the strength of the unwanted, the pressure to create something greater. Each place I lived in held different sorts of aspects of that for me. Previously, to the student pad, I lived in a small house. I only really had access to the bedroom, kitchen and living area and most of my stuff remained packed. I took care of it during the winter, before the landlord prepped it for sale.

Even there, I knew I was a short-timer, so I lived with a bare minimum of my stuff unpacked. However, I was also in charge of shoveling snow and there was no garbage collection. Often times, 3-4 bags of trash would pile up at the front door before the landlord picked them up. The kitchen didn’t have good ventilation and got smoky. The stove burned more things than it cooked well.

The highlight for me was being able to have a live christmas tree and use my ornaments for the first time since I moved the Twin Cities in 2010.

At the student pad, I have had to get used to the more kinetic energy of college age students. They scream when they get excited – loud and shrill. They discuss in long detail, the trials and tribulations of their interpersonal relationships (which feel so hyper and drama-filled). They have completely different hours to mine and not what you think – I work nights. The kitchen is small, especially with people in it. I am also just taking up space for a short time and not part of the group.

I realize the things they care about and talk about (and often scream excitedly about) are not much different then the conversations I had with my roommates in undergrad. Seriously, if you think things are different than they used to be, go live with a college student. I swear it is déjà vu. It must be a stage of development because I have seen other gaggles of college students in this area, and they have a sameness to them (but they probably don't want to hear that).

Home

Home may be where the heart is. I can’t say I have felt “at home,” physically for awhile. I’ve gotten acquainted with my internal process and stay more uncomfortable. It is not just my aching muscles but the kind of dissatisfaction you feel not quite finding enough room for things and making do anyway.

Mind over matter. It gave me a canvas to work with. A circumstance to go up from. Even when I had to be frank and honest with everyone (even perfect strangers) about what I could manage financially, and what I could not. No room for shame.

Even when I moved, and my former landlord turned into a crazy person, sending texts for three days straight 24-7 and refusing to acknowledge any boundary set for her. And then doing it again a week later. And doing it again (until I blocked it) even when I had performed the task she was so upset about. It really wasn’t me she was upset with, life and stress and all her stuff came up when she sold her house, I guess. Still, no excuse for bad behavior.

So here I am. Soon to be moving. Different part of town, different landscape. And building my marketing business. Job hunting. Showing up every day to what life calls me to do…

Expanding what I think is possible while shaping the future I want to experience.

#2018 #boundaries #frustrations #breakthrough #mind #innerwork #financialhealth #betterchoices #jobsearching #mindset #selfhelp #connectiontoself #connection #bestself #career #learning #energy #wellness #patterns #empath #creative #finances #health

Day 11: Is it toxic people, something toxic to heal in myself or a dystopian epic?

Biked downtown to pick up my paycheck from restaurant two. It happened to be the dinner rush. The bartender/supervisor who appears to be causing personnel problems was on duty.

He has lashed out at me in a shaming way before, made stuff up in need of correction and generally caused turmoil. People are finding other jobs because of his behavior.

Normally, I can read a situation and find the motivation in someone for their actions and shift the energy. This guy is an enigma for some reason. He’s either a sociopath or I am missing a crucial piece of insight. What I do know, is when he is emotionally stressed (such as by a busy night with non-stop action), he finds it cathartic to vent steam on whomever he has chosen as a victim. He was fine before being made a supervisor, but the new title has given his (perhaps delicate) ego a reason to run rampant.

When he sees you the next time, he tries to make up for it, at least for a short time. Usually with a quirky smile. However, restaurants are naturally chaotic at times and he can’t hold it in for long. He gets obsessed about the music choices, and whether people are working hard enough. The energy just ends up being demoralizing and abusive.

It is showing in the mass exodus and degradation of the culture.

Still, that doesn’t quite explain his consistently weird behavior with me. Tonight, he got disturbed about my being there to pick up my check. This restaurant doesn’t have direct deposit – a completely inconvenient thing for this day and age. We’re forced to find time to venture in and get a physical check. It isn’t always easy to pick a perfect time, convenient for all.

I stayed downtown and read from my Jordan Peterson book. I am finding his points fascinating and well thought out. Supposedly he is super controversial. Maybe calling people on their shit these days, is controversial, I don’t know. In the least it is a thought-provoking book.

I thought more about the Joe Dispenza coursework. I asked the Universe to send me the money because it feels important I take those two classes. Eventually it will be important I go to the week-long retreat too. The intro courses will keep me busy for 13 weeks, though.

I can see how my mind currently wants to capsize into limitation and lack of resources, or my ability to seemingly create them. I’m starting to get that pattern. My father sent me a demeaning video about millennials. Just as I am poking out from my hole. What creates that?

I know I need to start the meditations regularly in which I envision my ideal state -physically, mentally, in relationship and with finances. It’s important I create discipline around this. Even if it takes awhile to get it all together.

What does it feel like to be in the ideal employment? What needs do I require to have taken care of with what I create? What relationships do I want all around me?

Deep work causes deep reflection just as I am sensing what the limits are – if any. Joe says that you are never too sick, too old or too whatever to change. That in and of itself is an advanced concept. In order to even imagine I can accomplish anything and create the life I came here for, I need to release any sense of being a victim. Being in question is the key. Doing what it takes even when it makes me uncomfortable.

What responsibility do the awakening few have to those who remain stuck and mired in emotions and the past? Whatever the bartender/supervisor is thinking or doing, for example – is it my role to fix it or simply recognize that the environment is toxic, and I need to move on?

If I am putting on my leadership hat or my consciousness hat – is there anything I haven’t considered which would shift this energy?

In the meantime, I continue to write and experience this creative journey.

#2018 #frustrations #connectiontoself #story #breakthrough #financialhealth #innerwork #health #wellness #selfhelp #mindset #betterchoices #mind #energy #soul #bestself #patterns #empathic #change #emotionalsupport #personaljourney

Day 10.5: Changing Mind and the Limitless Quantum Field

I got home from the MIMA event with Jen Faucon, exhausted and ready for bed. Fantastic presentation by an admirable woman who has travelled and worked all over the world.

Other women who were at the pinnacle of their careers were present at the table. We drank cocktails, discussed our adventures in the world of men and #MeTo. How were we both a contributor and navigating successfully in a man’s world?

Dinner

Deep questions. A meal at Meritage, where I eternally feel transported to the streets of Paris, ensued and our dinner conversations awoke in me further, these deep-seated passions that I’d been nurturing. In my writing, in my healing work, and in my life in general.

Aimee mentioned she had not seen that side of me – the one that is willing to say or write anything and enjoy the results. My only thought is that the ability to feel safe doing so has been a process of internal and external transformation. When mired in trauma, it is hard not to feel like being openly brazen will end up with anything other than a slap on the wrist, or worse yet compromise one’s finances or some other aspect of life.

Getting to the point in one’s healing journey in which you can be secure in your own skin, and therefore express the pure nature of the soul, requires that the limiting and sabotaging beliefs of the subconscious are not so heavily at play. Otherwise the neural pathways of the brain seek to re-create the trauma and keep your nascent exploration of higher purpose at bay.

The San Francisco Connection

At any rate, that same morning, Aimee had connected me with a tech guy in San Francisco, who needed a content marketer for his new project, a website on the latest advances in healing including but not limited to the Keto diet. He himself had used the Keto diet to successfully recover from Type 2 Diabetes.

What’s interesting to me, is the night before I’d spoken with a friend of mine about the desire to write more about health and well-being. I also want to help others with Beachbody programs and products – since I’d been a coach for while but not really done anything with the business.

Maybe because I didn’t identify with the vast majority of Mommy Blogger types that made their income that way. Still, at this stage I felt more open and aligned with the concept of sharing the system. In addition, I feel strongly about the mind-body connection – that our bodies are and will always be connected to our abundance issues.

How many sick people are also poor – either in Spirit or in financial wealth? The website guy sent me a video introduction to Joe Dispenza. I swear I’d seen his name before but had not been ready to hear the message, or something. The video is an hour long and well worth seeing.

Not only that but his intro courses seemed to be on sale for the summer. The quantum field and its implications to my situation astounded me. I knew I needed to take this course and follow the energy that the Universe was giving to me.

Why am I sitting here, looping through problems and restrictions when I can tap into the quantum field and change my mind and my life? I don’t know the reason totally, other than I was clearly attached to these problems – or had been. Suffering away and addicted to the adrenalin, all while aging in my body. This had to shift. And NOW.

A common affliction

Furthermore, I asked myself why on earth so many of us were stuck that way. Either dying slowly or dying quickly. Attached to the brief moment of attention we receive when people are raising money to fund our medical accounts or lamenting how no one wants to save us. Facebook and social posts are replete with these.

The health care system is broken and the repair may not come with better funded insurance. It has to come from our desire to do things differently, disrupting the status quo of our existence.

We are unwilling, generally to actually solve the problem. While the insights and information dangle out there on the web, courses are available, and scholarships/ donations exist to change our reality.

We sit mired in our limitations and self-concepts. Legions of us commit suicide on one level or another and never really function at our potential. It is a fascinating topic of self-limitation, and one I wish to explore more with others.

At this stage, though I am ready to get the hell out of dodge and deal with my own predicament. I see the stage is finally setting up to do just that. Let’s see where this path takes me. What will it take for all of us to be more connected to the divine intelligence?

#2018 #frustrations #breakthrough #ancestraltrauma #Quantum #mindset #mind #financialhealth #betterchoices #bestself #selfhelp #connectiontoself #connection #wellness #health #healthy2018 #innerwork #energy #energyclearing #familytrauma #Transformation #gender #TrueNorth #MeToo

Day 7: Contemplations of a Life, Little Understood, and Lived, Nevertheless

Early morning, I just got back home from working, I saw Blackkklansman. Powerful filmmaking by Spike Lee. I’m still processing the depth of the connection made between our current reality and the plans the Klan had in the 1970s to infiltrate politics.

Conversations with friends lately seems to revolve around both change and how things seem to stay the same. Themes revolve and continue despite our best efforts or to spite them, perhaps. What is both the limitation of our ability to change reality as we know it and what can we accomplish in one lifetime?

I am familiar with where I came from when I re-located to the Twin Cities in 2010. My thoughts, my desires and what I felt I came here to accomplish. Confronted with adversity and a story, I had to live through to believe, I made it through each year goading myself, and consequently the Universe to bring me the fruits of my labor. I'm still not quite sure it hears me.

On various occasions, there’d be some victory or other. Only to discover, that wasn’t the end or the solution just another piece of the ever-growing puzzle.

Am I a knowledgeable metaphysician in charge of my own destiny? Or a pawn in some cosmic game of cat and mouse. And do we ever know the answer to that?

Given the world stage of climate change (it was rather hot this week), global politics with the leadership of insanity and stateman duking it out and our own seething turmoil of shame, destruction and sheer malice, it’s surprising how we survive. I am not sure anyone could have prepared me for what I am experiencing now. Underneath it all, perhaps we knew we were heading to the call, whatever that was. I don’t know.

I wake up daily, incredulous that two years after my MBA I am jobless (again) unable as yet, to break from the glass ceiling of my own self-containment. Whatever family or mental ailment has me stuck in this position. I defaulted to an admin career and moving forward, through and out of that into a career of possibility seems as intangible a thing as the existence of God.

Hope continues, each day the resumes continue to go out, the website is getting updated (to reflect the way I’d like to manage my consulting practice) and the MIMA work gets completed – two blogs today in fact!

Daily life does continue. The Dunn Bros coffee shop on Grand is consistently filled with students, professors and junk dealers. Somali men smoking their cigars, organizing affairs. Hipsters smoking their hand-rolled, debating climate change and discussing music. We grumble about elections and we keep going.

Still, this are fleeting moments. Tiny wisps of air – thought – and then I am forging forward.. Clearing cobwebs, applying to jobs, writing, honing skills, developing business ideas. Moving – multiple times – physically. Trying on new neighborhoods like the clothes I used to get in boxes.

I look forward to, or at least desire more job interviews. Today, this week it feels quiet. Nothing on the docket. An odd thing for me. Too much time on my hands to write my daily blog. The words hit the page and I am already processing the shifts in Day 7. Way past my bedtime though. My body is screaming to go to bed, to rest to feel connected to the All-That-Is.

Spirit and soul. The long-lost lover floating eternally by my side. The wispy darkness, that always taunts to drag me under. Hope springs eternal that it will all be all right...it has to be. What else is possible?

#2018 #frustrations #financialhealth #betterchoices #ancestraltrauma #innerwork #selfhelp #energy #wellness #connectiontoself #soul #Transformation #bestself #patterns #process #mind #mindset #intuition #community #newoutlook #career #learning #finances #heart

Day 5: Stories of Unexpected Outcomes and the Role of the Universe

The Universe works in mysterious ways. At 11:45am I got a call from my co-worker at the movie theater restaurant.

She needed someone to cover her shift.

I wasn’t going to make it on time for her original schedule, but management was OK for a late start. In the end, I was the only server on duty through a pretty busy dinner too. The 2nd server for the night called in sick.

That sort of unexpected situation with money has been happening more lately. Just yesterday, a good friend of mine sent me money via Venmo so I’d have a nice weekend.

After work tonight, I spoke with a server at Raku, a sushi place near the theater. He was telling me he frequently fixes cars for others or helps them out with service (i.e. picking up stuff at the store). I told him I thought that was the direction of how the world needed to head. This I-I-Me-Me thing wasn’t working right.

Seems to me, while I have been cash poor lately, I have received from the Universe, all kinds of in-kind exchanges and free money (finding change on the ground is a good example).

The unexpected call put my Day 5 writing behind schedule. I still feel committed to writing a little something though. Technically it is 2AM Day 6, but I can write two blogs in one day.

My server friend wasn’t sure everyone on the planet would “get” this way of thinking that we were speaking of. I mentioned that without the care, attention and flexibility of friends and roommates this past year, I’d not have survived.

It wasn’t always easy to receive. It wasn’t what I was brought up to think. However, it made me realize that often, the Universe picks people for whom money flows and uses their allowance and generosity of spirit to create for others. So really, it isn’t up to use to determine who is deserving, more like up to us to listen to the call of Spirit.

Receiving is clearly something I have a problem with because otherwise I’d have everything I need and want.

The Universe has been trying to school me on how gifting and receiving are part of the same paradigm. In other words, was it an issue with receiving or was I just not gifting?

I believe part of this impetus to write daily, no matter who reads this or if they even hire me for marketing / content work or anything like that – is the idea of gifting what I know to others.

I’d been thinking about this issue with my family and what I was taught. There is a Gifting & Receiving Universe and then there is Give and Take. Those who exist in a Gift and Take Universe, are always expecting from others. An example might be someone gives you a meal and then expects sex in return. You know the feeling and it is common in our reality. So, you think, well I can’t ever receive because it come with strings. I don’t want to have sex with those people.

Unfortunately, when you aren’t receiving (even hypothetically) then the money (which is energy) fails to show up. You keep shutting the doors and you wonder – shit why can’t I see a change in my bank account. Or, my bank account is worse than ever!

Money is a relationship and needs the same care and attention as a lover. Gratitude, Trust, Allowance, Vulnerability. Authenticity.

Of course, past traumas won’t make it easy to be any of those let alone one or two. That’s where the work comes in. The energy or somatic healing and therapy. I’ve never seen an easy way out – in this time and space, we’re going to have to address the issues head on.

I was used to a Give & Take Universe and therefore, since I’d cut off my ability to receive somewhere along the line, so that I wouldn’t feel obligated, I had to do the work to shift this point of view which limited my Universe. I wish it were a snap of the finger. It’s a daily practice, really, along with the help of my energy therapists.

Each day I work I value myself, and my choice, and my relationship with money more and more. It doesn’t always appear like I thought. Plus, the results we think we want may morph and change or take longer. Beating ourselves up about a process or trying to fit in doesn’t work.

The day before my friend sent me money, I was clearing some blocks and being in question. At the same time, I was confronted with this reality and the no question universe which seems to be all around me. I felt like I was in a bad mood.

The next day, when the money showed up, I got the awareness that maybe if I had trusted the Universe the night before, I’d have been better off…

Then the following day (today), I received/created a shift at work with cash tips I wasn’t expecting too. So, the awareness grew to “the Universe always has your back even when you sometimes fuck up.”

#2018 #frustrations #Money #breakthrough #ancestraltrauma #mind #innerwork #Winning #knowing #financialhealth #betterchoices #energy #connectiontoself #selfhelp #wellness #bestself #selfempowerment #selflove #soul #Transformation #familytrauma #family #Heartwalls #Relating #Relationship #patterns #newoutlook #personaljourney #mindset #process #finances #SacredJourney #energyclearing #clearing

Day 3: Healthy Community as the Foundation for a Grounded Life

Community has been vital in my process with financial recovery. Without feeling grounded in the everyday rituals of friends, hobbies, nature, exercise and healthy outlook, I don’t think I could get through what it takes to shift my mindset.

Transformation, especially with all the projections, expectations, judgements and other faulty belief systems that permeate our culture, would be impossible without creating these rituals of everyday life. We need to be fully present to what each moment brings to create a different outcome.

People carrying the load of personal trauma, are often “floaters” – not fully present in their own body, their own humanity. They are escapees of what it takes to BE HERE NOW and instead long to remain separate from earth, separate from their own frailty and certainly from the dirty work of life. In fact, their connection to the source of all that is, even if they are “spiritual” tends to be unconsciously blocked.

Because our bodies are representations of who we are as spiritual beings, floaters don’t like their bodies or the message of their bodies anymore than seeing and sensing the complexities of the human existence. The failure to thrive, acted out in one form or another, is about not being grounded in the suffering that exists here. Because to be grounded in it means you must take personal responsibility for your portion of the debt.

Yes, that is the thing I avoided a long time. Not wanting to see the energy of money and create my life came from not really wanting to take personal responsibility for what I knew existed under the surface. I play acted at life. I read all the books, took the courses, went back to school several times.

I hoped that just doing those things would be enough and I would have a magical existence. When I went to film school at the age of 24, I imagined being a famous filmmaker. Nevertheless, not being grounded in my body, and deeply enmeshed in my personal trauma with co-dependent family bonding, doing what it took would have been impossible. Even if I had moved to LA, I would most certainly have been pray for the likes of people like Harvey Weinstein, who at the time of my graduation was already taking meetings in his hotel rooms.

While I had enough sense to not move to LA, I didn’t have enough strength to create my life. In fact, I was at the time of my graduation, so far above my body, and so deeply without structure, that I almost died.

The nature of community

It is important to note that the community I am referring to is a healthy one. Floaters will find unhealthy communities to which they look to prop up their fragile egos. Fellow drug addicts, poverty mindsets, alcoholics and nihilists aren’t healthy even if you all have a good time creating peak experiences of escaping.

Even spiritual communities are filled with fellow floaters looking to gurus, talking about their money problems, doing “healing” work that doesn’t get to the root of the issues and theorizing about the latest ideas on star gates and portals to other planets.

It took a long time to understand and embody healthy paradigms while developing the necessary skills to join healthy communities. Nevertheless, a healthy community is not so much a thing as a mindset itself.

The work

Over the years, all my various exercises from learning to be a massage therapist, taking a coaching certificate, to moving to the Midwest all were attempts at fixing something I knew was not working. It was a path, and every time I took on a new project I did make some incremental shifts. Still, these pivot points obscured a voice in the back of my mind, a small whisper of “but you are still going to need to do this work.”

And here I am. I finally accepted what I avoided for so long. I finally saw that no other degree program or certificate was going to reach the depth of these traumas and heal the bonding wounds that reside in my DNA and energetic structure. These wounds are so unconscious, that as I uncovered them, I couldn’t believe the stories I was hearing from my soul and my body and my ancestors.

I also realized as I worked through these layers, that there was no way that my 24-year old self, craving fame, attention and validation as she was, would ever have been strong enough to handle this work.

Neither would I have been strong enough at all the other pivot points.

Universal timing was going to require from me this epic Hero’s Journey.

Back to community

I went out on my friend’s boat, Sunday. I originally met Duane (the owner of Skipping Stones) at the curling club, along with many of my other good friends. As I soaked in the St Croix with the beautiful trees and nature surrounding me, feeling the river grasses and undulating cool water caress my skin, I was happy to BE HERE NOW.

I took up curling when I arrived in the Twin Cities. It has turned out to be one of the most grounding and gratifying sports. The community is a strong one. It is not perfect. Both the healthy and the unhealthy exist in one space. Like everything, you have a choice which path you choose. The longer I curl and the more I heal, the choice to create a healthy and solid future becomes clear.

We have a choice to be here or float, pretending it all doesn’t matter, and complaining about the negative outcomes floating leads to. Being here is the work. Removing the blocks to us inhabiting our bodies and creating from the Universe, is the work. Creating healthy communities and positive paradigms is the work. Without doing the work WE will die. Either individually or collectively.

The healing is a choice.

#2018 #ancestraltrauma #Curling #mind #innerwork #familytrauma #Transformation #financialhealth #betterchoices #bestself #wellness #health #Authenticity #career #learning #threedimensionaltherapy #EmotionCode #BodyCode #energy #connectiontoself #soul #selfhelp #empathic #patterns #intimacy #process #mindset #empath #emotionalsupport #personaljourney

Competitive Mindset and the Art of Winning - Attitude Adjustment

Last weekend, I had the opportunity to join a team of curlers comprised of high performance team members. These young curlers normally compete at the national level with their competitive teams.

What an exciting event in which our team ended up winning the First Event Championship of the Saint Paul Curling Club’s Mixed Wind-Up. We played one game on Friday night and three, six-end games and one eight-end game on Saturday. Our last three were back to back!

Competitive mindset

I found myself witnessing what it takes to be in the winning mindset. In my time spent on curling teams of all shapes and sizes during the last eight seasons, my exposure to competitive play was limited to my season as an official. Even then, I did not actually join the teams on the ice or really have a sense for the dynamics of play.

My curling friends on this competitive team were consistently supportive of each other. There weren’t any aggressive glances because someone “messed up.” They may have collectively acknowledged adjustments they wished to make next time, but they kept up-beat. Furthermore, there was constant communication both at the time the shot was being called and while the rock was in play and being swept.

I also noticed that even though I was not at the competitive level generally, I wanted to and often did, play a high caliber game. We collectively pulled each other up. The teammates kept each other’s spirits high even when our shots didn’t make the mark and we joked around with each other. If we were down in one end, the strategy was simply adjusted to win, rather than sink down into the bad shots we had just played. Ultimately, my teammates did not consider losing a possibility.

Applying the techniques to other areas of life

Going into the week, I realized I could apply these techniques to other areas of my life. I realize that I learned the bad habit of a type of pessimism about the outcome of things. This is not the mindset my young teammates went into competition with at all. Instead, they believed almost like it was inevitable, they would win.

I recently decided to switch from hosting to serving at the restaurant where I have worked since October. I do not find this type of work easy or a slam dunk. I am more of a leader than a servant archetype. Nevertheless, I saw many advantages in pushing myself out of my comfort zone.

While I work on my marketing career and do what it takes to develop my applicable skillset, there is something to be said for the challenge of serving others, joyfully and providing an exceptional experience. Plus, the money is better. Part of my financial health plan for 2018 includes paying down some debts, saving money (finally) and putting myself into the realm of possibly moving back into my own apartment sometime this fall.

What it might look like to apply these techniques

First off, it may not go smoothly my first few times serving. Maybe someone will get angry, my timing will be inconsistent, or I’ll have to ask questions I forgot to ask the first time. Rather than get down, I will brush it off, use it to adjust my serving strategy and keep improving.

In my marketing work, I am applying to and interviewing for jobs. I have had a plethora of different feedback so far. When job hunting, you are in a constant adjustment – one thing you forgot to mention in one interview, is front and center on your mind the next one. Additionally, you can’t really let other people’s limited thinking or points of view get you down.

Yes, that hiring manager may not see past his or her nose and feel out my potential. But I won’t take it personally and will keep going. At some point, the right fit for myself and the company I apply to will fall into place. One of my bartender friends said, “it is statistically impossible to be turned down every time.” OK then!

Eight years ago, I didn’t even know how to throw a curling rock without falling over. This last weekend, I won a First Event Championship with elite curlers. My shots were just as important in the lead position as the rest of the team’s.

If I had given-up on my first few attempts at curling, I would never have experienced the fun, joy and thrill of this competition. I would not have met some wonderful new friends. I would not be a first event winner.

#mindset #Winning #health #healthy2018 #mind #2018 #innerwork #financialhealth #betterchoices #Transformation #bestself #coach #newoutlook #career #learning #process #personaljourney #Curling #competition #competative #Journey

Completion time - finishing my Reset and beginning healthy transition

Completion of the Reset…

I’ll admit the last three days I was not perfect. Maybe I need just a little imperfection thrown in for good measure. As an artist, I might not have the most pristine canvas because the world is full of twists and turns, flubs, uncontrollable moments.

I got tired of waiting to see movies because I couldn’t eat popcorn. Who sees movies without something to munch on? So, I went to see Fifty Shades Freed.

While the movie was not even slightly entertaining – Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson felt bored with each other. The writing was crap. Locations uninspiring, or was it just me projecting? Whatever the case maybe, I ate a small popcorn.

I also had 5 sips of beer at the curling club during a social moment after a game– which I immediately regretted when I woke up at 3am with stomach cramps and a headache. So maybe I wouldn’t do that one again. Imperfect and stupid are two different things.

New states of consciousness

I am beginning to prefer a state of consciousness in my social activities and find myself quite able to be social without a drink in hand. If you think you can’t be social without a drink in hand – do the Ultimate Reset and check yourself. No seriously - you can do it.

Maybe alcohol will become less important as time goes on. I haven’t tried wine again, a perennial favorite of mine. I’ll let you know how that goes. I bought two bottles of nice red wine before I started the reset…they are still sitting there for the “right time.”

Transitioning from the reset

Technically we have three weeks of transition in which you go from vegan diet back to meat-eating, if you want. Maybe less meat overall and a healthier approach. It is a little tricky with the 21-day container system because that program limits your veggie counts and ups your protein, most of which comes from dairy and meat.

It is recommended you don’t add back in any alcohol, sugar or soda (which is sugar). We can bring the grains and beans back in on Week 2 post reset. After my experience with five sips of beer, I am disinclined to try beer again any time soon.

Outlook appears rosy

In the last 24 hours, I focused intently on the job situation and finances. I successfully maintained my Debtors Anonymous program since January and have not incurred any further debt.

January, I began using the EveryDollar app to record each and every expense. In addition, I use my banking spreadsheets to keep an accurate check register and monitor monthly expense to income.

Recently, I heard about another app called YNAB. It is a paid service and has more tools such as finance management courses and a different system for allotting income. I may try it down the road. Right now, this system I created using the DA tools is working just fine.

Within the last 24 hours of my reset, I was contacted by two different recruiters who have positions available in the Twin Cities metro. The last agency I used has slowed down so I had been eager to work with others. Recognizing that I found a new place to live for April with less than 48 hours of searching, I requested of the Universe in meditation that my job search be “as easy.” And boom…

All that pain and suffering from a year and half of T3 therapy in which I released all those faulty core beliefs may be paying off, finally. No, there is no QUICK FIX folks. Everyone must put the work in, I am afraid -whether with diet and exercise or the mind.

All in all – I am looking forward to my transition. I am doing the 60-day PIYO program and started today. We’ll see what kind of ‘after’ photos I get in the next couple months. In the meantime, I am just amazed at the progress I continue to make with my intentions for a Healthy 2018.

If you want to know more about Beachbody, its products or want to catch up – go to my Beachbody website: or reach out personally. I am a Independant Beachbody Coach and any opinions presented here about the products are my own. I am not compensated for these writings or use of the products. Hope to hear from you soon! Beachbody Website

#beachbodycoach #beachbody #Food #ultimatereset #financialhealth #health #2018 #Spirituality #personaljourney #SoulJourney #betterchoices #wellness #bestself #career #process #mindset #innerwork #cleanse

Week 3 begins, reflections after the detox

Starting week 3 of Beachbody's Ultimate Reset, I was struck by how far I had come in just 14 days.

The rhythm of grocery shopping and prep days was down. I knew how to plan to get all done and what I needed to complete the tasks. I enjoyed the changes happening in my body. I felt confident in my strength with the rigors of the program.

Meal prep choices set me up for success

I chose to make all the meals at once in the space of a few days (necessitating some late nights). This choice required some long days of cooking that may not be available to everyone. Cooking like that is super intense, tiring and labor intensive.

Still, having my meals ready to go through the week, made it easy to comply. I had zero excuses when it came to eating because the meal was already made and just needed heating or eating. Perhaps, a better option for some would be a hybrid of the two options:

• Prep in the moment at each meal

• Prep all at once on a cook day

Work schedules and other difficulties

Working at the restaurant presented some unique challenges this time around. The schedules often intersected and conflicted with the supplementation process. My breaks (if I had them) didn't correspond to eating times. I had to be creative taking my meals to work, and sometimes grabbing bites in the back when I could.

I became comfortable bringing jugs of mineralized water to work, my Shakeo snack and my tubs of salad. If I had a soup or warm meal to bring, I found a way to heat it in advance and keep it warm enough until I had time to eat.

What this process led me to was a certain adaptability and flow with the unique journey I was taking this time around. Rather than letting those perceived limitations derail my Reset, I used them as springboards to find creative solutions. I feel that this learning will apply to other areas of my life also.

Financial health tied to the process

Many people know I worked hard in the last year on my subconscious patterns and beliefs related to self-worth, money and finances. This reset seemed much more grounded in new more healthy belief systems and archetypes, as a result.

My marketing contract job concluded early in the process – right before I was set to begin the three week cleanse. Rather than let that halt the process, I doubled-down on planning and strategies to enable me to obtain the necessary groceries and supplies. I used my fears and any shame that materialized as a a catalyst for shifts within my psyche.

I saw the change in circumstance, as an opportunity to generate creative solutions from a new place and practice my intuition and self-care skills. I applied my marketing, business and social media know-how to my own creative structures. I practiced being in allowance of the process as it was, not how I wished it could be.

The reset will conclude for me on Friday March 9. However, the lessons and habits will continue as I move onto a different program in the Beachbody arsenal. In the meantime, I will continue to challenge myself to stay alcohol and caffeine-free and eat all of the prepped meals I made. Life sure is interesting these days. I look forward to seeing where this journey takes me.

If you want to know more about Beachbody, its products or want to catch up – go to my Beachbody website: or reach out personally. I am a Independant Beachbody Coach and any opinions presented here about the products are my own. I am not compensated for these writings or use of the products. Hope to hear from you soon! Beachbody Website

#financialhealth #betterchoices #beachbodycoach #selfhelp #energy #connectiontoself #wellness #health #soul #Transformation #Food #bestself #coach #process #mindset #learning #energyclearing #personaljourney #ultimatereset #selfempowerment

Internal, External, Social and Change of the Self

My path has been internal since early May – at least as far as blogging on my personal site goes. My work with Three-Dimensional (T3) Therapy practitioner, Peg Sutherland, continued 2-3 times, per month. Processing and shifting, was a whole other matter. As layers of my ancestral/family karma broke down, I really couldn’t do much more than focus on myself.

I felt like I was in a stormy sea, my boat about to capsize. Perhaps, a few times it did and I held on to the side, hoping I’d survive somehow. Fighting with family members became more intense as dysfunctional energetic circuits, and past beliefs were cleared through the timelines and in my personal field.

How it appeared IRL (in real life) was often barely explainable so I just stopped explaining or justifying -- to myself, to others, to social media. Other times, I let various sub-personalities bob to the surface, as their energies upgraded, their voice needed to come out or they felt they needed to be heard. Often, I was a witness to my own soul – sort of like a parent watching a teenager learn to drive for the first time.

Meanwhile in “everyday reality” – I was working, dealing with finances (which blew up time and time again), making good choices and bad, volunteering for MIMA (Minnesota Interactive Marketing Association), even taking on the Marketing Chair role and applying for and getting turned down for jobs – over and over. A seeming endless supply of no. Sometimes with a personal touch, like the supposed networking contacts that would suddenly become silent if I actually applied for the job that they were hawking on social. My personal favorite: you don’t have enough experience (or too much?).

The other side of the coin included the realization that my family members weren’t going to sit idly by and support me emotionally. Or maybe, someday after I am on the other side of clearing out all the shared, passed on, and ancestral beliefs that were woven into my chakra systems, and I was humming along like a fine-oiled machine – I could imagine that the constant negatively charged emails, support checks that came late or reduced by $100s so I had to incur overdraft fees, and borrow money at exorbitant interest rates as well as the barrage of judgments like “you should have had your act together by now...” were all in my best interest.

That somehow – I owed my family allegiance, or silence or that my social posts, blogs and Facebook Lives were just too much for them. While it is possible, and probable that I misinterpreted through the lens of my process some of the intentions, I also know that unconditional acceptance has never been part of the mix. Moreover, my sessions were leading me to believe I’d carried ancestral belief systems which contributed to just that – including my feelings of shame and guilt for not being “good enough” which I held for myself.

My experience of my family flew in the face of the learnings from “Evolutionary Love Relationships” by Saade/Harvey. Also, the more time I spent with the new friends I was making as well as the old ones, whose generally supportive, unconditional families were like a whole new frontier, the more I saw real life examples of how it could be. This was both gratifying and difficult. Gratifying because I could reform in my mind a self- concept and community concept based on unconditional love, and difficult because I’d face I never really had that. What I accepted as normal was not in fact normal at all. Possibly even abusive and that abuse had been normalized.

Often, my own internal struggles were mirrored not just in my family of origin but in politics, where our President, cabinet and other players as well as world events were literally “blowing up” on a daily basis and things as we had known them could no longer be counted upon.

Still, over the course of the summer, I have had some peak moments that didn’t involve crying in the park under my sunglasses (yes that happened on Canada Day after a very difficult 24-hours with family/money). I deepened my connection to a whole new group of friends in my neighborhood – even as I knew I would need to move out, took two trips to the Minnesota State Fair, experienced more laughter and inner knowing and discovering “what I am called to create” and got bought plenty of alcohol on my birthday with the private social media group “Lowertown Drinking Club.”

I am still in process, but quickly getting clearer about what I want in relationship when it shows up, how I want to feel (or not) and what true love really means to me. I am also learning that not everything spiritual or related to the Law of Attraction comes to you in the way you originally envisioned. Sometimes it is very, very different and the true path is learning to accept and go with the flow.

I did a shit ton of letting go – friends, self-concepts, original concepts about my dreams/career, long-held boundaries – yes, I might move in with roommates again, yes, I would be willing to do a 2nd job in restaurants, yes – I would keep working at the same job I’d had for the last 3 years (at least for now).

Not sure that I am totally “at one” with trusting God/Goddess with all this – sometimes I throw a fit like the best of them. And yet, little by little I have gotten more secure in my position and understanding and my belief in myself. My intuition feels clearer than ever.

And here we are…in a new Universe with the world as my oyster…almost.

Want to work with me? Coaching, healing work such as Access Consciousness Bars, Akashic Record readings and transformational energywork - bookings available online or send me an email. I accept payments/ donations through Paypal in order to sustain myself and build my business.

In addition to personal transformation, we can work on your branding and marketing also bookable via my Online booking portal. You can also provide donations/trades of the following: acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, food, gas, pay for my Internet or anything you can suggest. Look forward to working with you!

#soul #EvolutionaryLove #Transformation #intimacy #romance #Heartwalls #EmotionCode #threedimensionaltherapy #empathic #career #networking #Marketing #mindset #process #learning #MIMA #jobsearching #energyclearing #emotionalsupport #personaljourney #change #life #story #family #Love #selflove #writing

Stories of Wandering Duluth - Tourist and Marketer

Recently, I visited Duluth Minnesota to attend the Zenith Digital Marketing Conference 2017.

Last year, I attended Zenith 2016, not long after having graduated with my MBA in Integrated Marketing. While we learned various integrated marketing basics in school along with our business education, it is not until you enter the real world that the true work begins. Zenith was a part of that for me. To be surrounded by marketers and marketing language and the all the sub-culture attributes was like being a kid in a candy store.

Now that I have cut my teeth covering events for MIMA and working on the Irish Fair’s marketing plan, I ventured there again. This time, with awareness and experience under my belt. Rather than rush, I wanted to spend more time relaxing and integrating my time away from my day job.

Night One:

I ventured out to “see the town.” So, downtown Duluth is not exactly hopping on a Wednesday night. In fact, by the time I checked in, most of the stores were closed or closing for the day. Snow was wafting down from the skies, as it had been ever since I stopped for bakery at Tobies.

I stayed at the Radisson, a round building known for their moving restaurant. It wasn’t open for the season yet. After walking around for a bit, I decided to stop in at The Blind Pig, a local café. Upon entering, the door attendant suggested I go see and try out the Rathskeller, an additional bar area in the basement below. He said, “Pick floor Minus One, not One. One is a creepy basement area used for storage.” Duly noted. Indeed, the elevator button was (-1) According to the website, this used to be the old prison.

The place was virtually empty when I arrived, except for two local regulars enjoying whiskey. As it turned out, it was “Whiskey Wednesday” at The Blind Pig/Rathskeller. I don’t normally do the whiskey but “when in Rome.” By my 2nd glass, I enjoyed a peaty number that tasted of burned gasoline – but it fit with the musty cellar and ghost stories. Yes, I even got to see the picture of one of the resident ghosts that showed up as a very distinct grey outline on someone’s photo (shown to me by the bartender on his phone).

One of the jokes tossed out was about a friend of the two regulars who lived up north near the border. “He’s practically Canadian, he lives right there on the border.” To which the bartender said, “Well, he probably just wants to jump right over about now and be Canadian.” Referring, I am sure to our political situation here in the States. Some talk about fishing and the weather.

After my time at -1 was done, I needed food, so I headed back up the elevator to floor 2 or was it 3. I ordered the house special, lamb Shawarma. On stage, a local band called WhiskeyTrail played country covers. I found my foot tapping and myself singing along. I only had few bucks left so my tip was small. I saw on their FB page that someone recently gave them $50. I felt a bit unprepared.

Course, I was lucky to be in Duluth at all. Building my career has been rough going. Volunteering my time, attending conferences with my own resources since my current role isn’t marketing related. Hearing a lot of “Nos.” It takes a lot of tenacity. I try not to eat too many ramen noodles, but I know that is a famous story of people wanting to follow a dream. Maybe it isn’t ramen noodles but small tips, or scraping up the money to take the next step and hoping it all works out.

Day Two:

I head out early – 7:30am. Since the hotel shuttle doesn’t start until 9am, I am on my own to walk to the Greysolon Ballroom – an event space near The Blind Pig. The weather is cool, a few snowflakes fall and the ground is wet but I am excited to be here.

After getting breakfast and coffee and settling down, Marty Weintraub - founder of AimClear - kicks off the morning’s Keynote by taking a picture of us all with his fisheye lens. From morning until about 4:30pm when everything wraps up for happy hour, we’re running around learning. Given that I am attending MIMA events at least twice a month, it is amazing how much I have learned and retained since the process started a year ago. Acronyms like SEO (search engine optimization) and AI (artificial intelligence) are familiar to me and that includes typical uses for brands.

When the day wraps up, we’re all ready for the after party at Blacklist Artisan Ales. , a new brew pub featuring Belgian-Inspired beer. A Canadian friend suggested the night before that I visit “Last Place on Earth.” When I looked it up, it was “permanently closed.” Turned out he was joking (I think). Why? Because the proprietor of the “head shop” was in jail.

Little did I know, until our group took the brewery tour that we were actually in the same space! One of the Duluthian’s explained that the previous owner had been investigated for some time for selling something called “Bath Salts,” which in theory could have been bath salts but when smoked or eaten or whatever someone crazy would do with those, were an illegal narcotic. Lovely. Seedy under-belly of Duluth.

Over the course of the evening, I met and talked with marketers, mostly from Duluth, but others were sole proprietors from the Twin Cities or students. I mentioned more in my previous blog. Katie and I ended up talking with one of the owners Jon Loss of Blacklist and his partner Elissa and getting into the nitty-gritty of beer making in the tour. From one type of chemistry to another, I suppose.

We discussed marketing strategy and ideas. It felt good to be here. Article about Black List

Day Three:

Went out for breakfast and ended up at the Holiday Inn’s restaurant near my hotel, so that I wouldn’t waste too much time. Nora, my waitress was nowhere to be found so the back-up helped and soon I was rocking and rolling with steak, eggs, pancakes and coffee. Took care of business and writing for several hours in the hotel lobby after check-out. Then I headed out to Namaste, a healing store.

Just my kind of place – candles, spiritual statues of gods and goddesses, healing books and crystals. The feeling in there was so amazing. If I could, I would have taken a few large crystals home with me. There were beautiful lava rocks and large columns. Immediately I was drawn to Quan Yin, a goddess I work with extensively in Transforming Blockages. In the end, I took a couple of candles for my altar and incense.

From Namaste, I headed across the freeway to the tanker boat. However, at 3pm, the last tour had left. Grandma’s, a known landmark restaurant on the pier, where happy hour was in full swing with ½ price drinks and cheap apps. For a tourist destination, it had its fair share of locals, and I felt out of place, maybe a little different. Nevertheless, I enjoyed the ambiance and the history showing in the old signage and photographs.

My final stop before leaving Duluth to head back to St Paul, was the local Starbucks. I drank my Mocha while charging my phone. A Somali man enjoyed his coffee while iPading in the corner and another guy listened to something on his headset while watching passersby in the window. Outside my view, the Duluth steam escaped from drain holes by the intersection.

I remembered the Blacklist owners talking the night before about how they used the steam to make beer and without it would require a much larger space and more equipment. The intersection of environment, city policy/resources and commerce.

All in all, I needed this experience of expansion in Duluth. A city full of stories, locals and seafaring folk who masquerade as brewmasters and computer geeks. The occasional marketer from AimClear, maybe. I may not know when my career will be full-time marketing, but what I do know is I love the process and where it is taking me. How else would I become so intimately connected to the thriving businesses and storytelling of this community?

Want to work with me? Coaching, healing work such as Access Consciousness Bars, Akashic Record readings and transformational energywork - bookings available online or send me an email. I accept payments/ donations through Paypal in order to sustain myself and build my business.

In addition to personal transformation, we can work on your branding and marketing also bookable via my Online booking portal. You can also provide donations/trades of the following: acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, food, gas, pay for my Internet or anything you can suggest. Look forward to working with you!

#Duluth #Travel #Zenith2017 #Marketing #EvolutionaryLove #Transformation #Food #career #networking #blog #conferences #learning #personaljourney #life #business #trust #process #mindset #Authenticity #community #Journey #Spirituality #creative

Zenith 2017, Duluth and the Content Marketing Career Thing

I attended Zenith Digital Marketing Conference in Duluth, MN yesterday. This is my second year. Having attended MIMA events (and written articles/conducted interviews) since October’s MIMA Summit, the language of marketing content is not only becoming familiar, I feel pretty confident of my grasp on the material. Basic keyword research, SEO, AI, Automation, use of social for different purposes, and how to use it most effectively.

At the Zenith after conference Happy Hour at Blacklist Ales, we shared deeper stories and got to know each other. My conversation with two UMD (University of MN Duluth) employees, cut to the heart things. Both had seen epic changes in the University settings in which funding cuts for general research was looming and the fear that science (not just art but AND art) was being attacked. Keepers of knowledge and bastions of progressive society and it was all something out of an Aldous Huxley novel (or any other novel from the 50s and 60s that seems a little too close to home).

They were hoping to learn somehow what it would take to save their work, to preserve their knowledge, to work in a paradigm in which deleting research was acceptable discrimination. I don’t have all the answers to this time, none of us seem to. However, what I could be was an ear of understanding. I said, it is up to each of us to tell our stories, find a way to put more of ourselves “out there” and provide whenever possible, a checks and balances to the fake news and misinformation. We were each being called to something greater – even if it makes us uncomfortable. My new friend’s face lit up, then with hope. Finding our greatness individually will be our Truth.

I am reflecting on the word Zenith, also. “The highest point reached by a celestial or other object.” Here I am in Duluth – not always lately feeling like I have reached any particular zenith. The ups and downs of the last year since graduating with my MBA have given me a type of resilience, or maybe more accurately, uncovered within me a resilience I had lost touch with. Unlike a year ago, I feel more at home at the conference and with marketing professionals.

Kate Cummings and I (and it is nice to have another person from our MBA program in the same room) – we are the first few cohorts through (or almost through in her case) and some of the only ones changing careers – and non-traditionally to boot. We are creative and social media savvy. We network. We want to break the mold. Sometimes it is hard to know if we aren’t thinking outside the box enough. Nevertheless, I haven’t given up on my job applications and networking. Something has to turn the corner and be the elusive jackpot. Still, marketing

Sitting in the hotel lobby of the Radisson Duluth, I am stuck by the older style décor, giving the place both a timeless attitude and transporting me to a different era. A hockey tourney must be taking place as parents and kids with large oversized hockey roll-bags have shown up by the droves since I checked out at 11am. I’ve been conducting business and chatting with a friend.

I want to head out soon and check out the maritime museum before driving home. Or at least go to the water for a bit. The hotel lobby gas fireplace is beautiful and relaxing, inviting to me to sit longer. I’d hoped to have done more writing while here – this blog will have to be it. I would rather be outside than typing my novel projects.

While I do not know when I’ll be working Fulltime in marketing – I feel like more and more I am aligning with that vision and desire. Letting go, bit by bit the limitations and point of view that kept me locked in my previous career. Keeping things small and struggling to complete projects.

Looking forward to applying my learning from Zenith and building on my volunteer assignments in the weeks to come. As well as staying connected to and building on the relationships from the event.

On the other hand, the Evolutionary Love course, took an unexpected two week hiatus due to logistics and I haven’t listened to last night’s course recording. Amazing how the Universe builds in unexpected processing and integration to our manmade schedules. Never ceases to amaze me that timing is not always under our control, and nor should it be.

Of course, no matter how much work I do on myself and clearing blocks of one kind or other another, the ego will always bring up time - like a badge of honor or dishonor, as the case maybe. After all it is just not good enough if it isn't just so!

Want to work with me? Coaching, healing work such as Access Consciouness Bars, Akashic Record readings and transformational energywork - bookings available online or send me an email. I accept payments/ donations through Paypal in order to sustain myself and build my business.

In addition to personal transformation, we can work on your branding and marketing also bookable via my Online booking portal. You can also provide donations/trades of the following: acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, food, gas, pay for my Internet or anything you can suggest. Look forward to working with you!

#2017 #EvolutionaryLove #Transformation #Zenith2017 #Relating #career #networking #conferences #learning #Marketing #process #jobsearching #mindset #energyclearing #emotionalsupport #business #trust #personaljourney #life